Crying in the heavy rain...

Church.
Its the only place where I can forget about everything and smile.

I ask Him to help me out everyday.

But its always the same answer.
Wait.

I'm getting really weak. Really tired.

I know, He'll never give you anything you can't handle.

I can handle this. But I feel so lonely doing it.

I wish, how I wish...things could be different.

It feel like...if I do come back...I'll have nothing.

No one to turn to.

And it hurts.

I've thought about it over and over again.

And now, I'm just about sure..

I will have no one to turn to.

I'm getting better at this.

My coverings are so thick and well made.

Only God him self can see.

There's no point in trying.

If I were to start, its would only lead to sorrow.

So why do I even get my hopes up and try?

Because I'm a idiot.

The pains are so heavy.

I can feel my heart just bursting.

Can't help but clench my heart.

Hold on to it tight.

And try to heal the cuts.

You Lord, are the only one who sees.

Only one that knows.

Help me.

I need it.

I can't stand on my own two feet.

Can barley even craw.

It feel like a hand is grasping my neck.

Chocking the breath out of me.

A knife slowly pressing into my heart.

God,

give me strength.